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The Church Bazaar 
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The Church Bazaar 
at Mulberry Corners 

An Entertainment in One Scene 

BY 

Ward Macauley 

Author 0/ "A Surprise Party at Brinkley's," "Mrs, McGreevy's 
Boarders," "Graduation Day at Wood Hill School," etc. 




PHILADELPHIA 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

1914 






COPYEIGHT 1914 BY ThE PeNN PUBLISHING COMPANY 



FES -4 1914 



©CI.D 35908 



The Church Bazaar at Mulberry- 
Corners 



CAST OF CHARACTERS 

Mrs. Hi Price the boss of the. bazaar. 

Mrs. Molly Featherstone . who knows a thing or two. 

Miss Emily Simpkins who is still hopeful. 

Mr. Bidlow a careful buyer. 

Irene ~\ 

JosiE y three simperers. 

Jennie J 

Elizabeth a singer. 

Ella Farnum fortune-teller pro tern. 

Clyde Hopper . ... an inexperienced young fnafi. 

Genevieve Rodman his first best girl. 

Mr. Brownell of reputed wealth, 

Mrs. Turner at the wheel of fortu7ie. 

Mr. Cal Shupp a confirmed bachelor. 

Mrs. Jones . . . . a loyal supporter of the bazaar. 
Tommy a gastronomist. 

,^ * \ ... who kindly donate their services. 

Mr. Jenkins j ^ 

Abner a helping hand. 

Mr. and Mrs. Lomley . . . ivho have been discussed. 

Visitors as many as desired. 

Time. — Forty-five minutes. 



STORY OF THE ENTERTAINMENT 

The church at Mulberry Corners is holding a grand 
bazaar of useful and fancy articles. The ladies gather to 
prepare the booths, etc. Queer lemonade. All is not 
peaceful in the Committee. Mr. Bidlovv, the first visitor, 
offers fifteen cents for a dollar handkerchief. " This is a 
church fair, not an auction." Clyde Hopper finds eighty 
cents doesn't go far. Mr. Bidlow gets the purple socks for 
eight cents. Miss Simpkins has her eye on Cal Shupp, but 
Cal is wary. ''A bachelor's apt to get in trouble where 
there's pretty girls." Mr. Brovvnell has left his purse at 
home. " So sorry." He refuses to go in debt. " I prom- 
ised my mother." While the show is going on Tommy gets 
into the ice-cream. Cal wins the cake at the final auction, 
and with it the right to kiss Emily. Emily is willing, and 
the fair breaks up in merriment. . 



DIRECTIONS 



Careful attention to the details of the stage-setting is 
necessary. The various booths should be represented as 
cleverly as possible. The scene plot may be altered to suit 
convenience. The more ingenuity used in making the 
bazaar realistic the more sure the success of the entertain- 
ment. Real ice-cream should be served and a goodly dis- 
play made of the various articles suggested for sale. Fancy 
decorations add to the effect. 

The characters should be wisely chosen and should dress 
in country style, but not farcically pronounced. Smith and 
Jenkins are city men and dress well. Miss Simpkins is 
thirty-five, but still hopeful. She is short and dark. Mr. 
Shupp is the same age. Clyde and Genevieve are about 
sixteen. Irene, Josie, Jennie and Elizabeth should be played 
by pretty, attractive girls of about seventeen. The ladies 
are of average middle age. Mr. Brownell and Mr. Bidlow 
should be represented as past forty. Tommy is about seven 
years old. 



PROPERTIES 5 

There are numerous characters. Only one can speak at 
a time. It is therefore necessary to give the others suitable 
*' business " to give the entertainment color. By all means 
be sure to avoid the appearance of ''hanging around." 
Careful attention should be given to rehearsing all in pre- 
tending to inspect fancy-goods, patronizing the ice-cream 
and lemonade booths, etc. 

A goodly number of visitors will add to the realism of the 
piece. These may come and go during the action, and 
each person by changing costumes can impersonate several 
if desired. This silent acting should be carefully rehearsed. 
These details are very easy, but attention given them will do 
much to insure the success of the piece. 

The wheel of fortune can be made of the wheel of an 
express cart. Each spoke should be numbered by means of 
paper labels. The wheel should be fastened to a large 
board, but left free to turn. An indicator consisting of a 
nail driven directly at the top shows the winning number. 



PROPERTIES 



Lemons, lump of sugar, slips of paper, pail of water, 
lemon squeezer, handkerchief, purse, nickel, pair purple 
socks, china cup and saucer, ice-cream, glass of lemonade, 
sofa pillow, ice-cream freezer, cake. 



SCENE PLOT 




Scene. — The church parlor, prepared for the bazaar. 
I, Entrance r. 2, Fortune-teller's booth. 3, Lemonade. 
4, Wheel of fortune. 5, Ice-cream. 6, Fancy work. 7, 
Handkerchief booth, 8, Entrance l. 9, Candy. 10, Piano. 



The Church Bazaar at Mulberry 
Corners 



SCENE. The church parlor, prepared for the bazaar. 

(The curtain discovers Mrs. Hi Price, Mrs. Molly Feath- 
ERSTONE a?id Miss Emily Simpkins busy with their ar- 
rangeinents for the bazaar. 

Mrs. p. I wish that man'd hurry up with that water. 
Mrs! F. I should say so. What would a church bazaar 
be without lemonade ? 

(Euter Abner, r., bearing a large tub of water which he 
has co7isiderable difficulty in moving. Finally, after much 
exertion, he sets it in the middle of the floor.) 

Abner. There ye be, Mis' Price, an' it was sure some job. 

Mrs. p. Never mind, Abner, we'll give you a glass of 
lemonade free. Now, where are those girls with the lemons ? 
{Enter Jennie, Josie and Irene, r., giggling and simper- 
ing.) There they are now. What's the matter with you 

girls? 

Irene {giggling). Oh, the grocer handed us a lemon. 

{Giggles.) 

Mrs. p. {sharply). Well, what of it ? 

Josie. And that was all he had left. 

Mrs. p. Well, then, we'll have to make one do, though 
we really ought to have two. Now get busy and make the 
lemonade. (The girls squeeze the lemon into tlie big tub 
doivn to the last drop. Abner and Josie get to scuffling, 
and in the excitement, Abner is pushed toward the tut? and 
falls in hands first.) There, you stupid lout, see what 
you've done ! 

7 



8 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

Abner. I didn't done it. I was done it to. 

JosiE. I'm awful sorry. I was only foolin'. 

Mrs. p. Abner, let me see your hands. 

Abner {shoiuing them'). Yes'm. 

Mrs. p. They're not so terribly dirty. When did you 
wash 'em ? 

Abner. I ain't sure whether I did this morning or not. 

Mrs. p. It'd be a shame to waste all that perfectly good 
lemonade. 

Miss S. ) It would be positively wasteful. 

Mrs. F. 3 Extravagant. 

Mrs. p. Well, thei), we won't say a word about it. No 
one will know. Abner, have you the sugar ? 

Abner. Yes'm. 

{He fishes into his pocket and p7'oduces a single lump.) 

Mrs. p. Put it in without my seeing it. If it's soiled I 
don't want to know it. 

Mrs. F. As I was saying, don't you think sixty cents is 
enough for the handkerchiefs? 

Mrs. p. Look here, Molly Featherstone, I am chairman 
of the committee, and I say seventy-five cents, and that set- 
tles it. 

Mrs. F. Oh, very well. 

Irene. Which of us is to tend the lemonade booth ? 

Mrs. p. I've told you many times already that Irene is 
to have the lemonade booth, Jennie the handkerchief booth, 
Josie the ice-cream stand — no, let me see, Irene the hand- 
kerchief booth, Josie the 



Josie. I'd rather have 



Mrs. p. Never mind. Josie is to have the lemonade 
stand, Jennie the ice-cream — no, let me see - 

Josie. Let me have the ice-cream — — 

Jennie. No, me. 

Irene. No, me. 

Mrs. p. You girls'd try the patience of Job. I've got 
it on a slip here. {Reads.) Jennie, ice-cream; Irene, 
handkerchiefs; Josie, lemonade. Now, run along and get 
ready. 

Jennie. Who's going to sell the fancy work ? 

Mrs. p. Why, Elizabeth will sit in the booth, but I ex- 
pect to sell most of it myself. {The girls start for their 
respective places.) Another thing, I don't want you girj§ 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS Q 

drinking up all that lemonade. If you want any you get 
your pa to pay for it the same as the rest. How much was 
the lemon ? 

JosiE. Two cents. 

Mrs P You'd ought to have made Hornbucket do- 
nate it' The old heathen, he never sets foot inside of a 
church. You bet if 1 was a pretty girl, I'd never pay no 
old grocer for lemons for a church bazaar. If he wouldn t 
give 'em to me, I'd wait till he wasn't looking and take em 

JosiE. Oh, Mrs. Price, Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Blair both 
sent glasses. Which shall we use? 

Mrs. p. Whichever are the smallest, of course. JNow 
hurry up and get ready. 
(The girls go to their respective booths and ]o^\^ produces 

a large pail of water into which she squeezes the lemoJis.) 

Mrs F. Goodness me, but this bazaar's going to cost 
me a pretty penny. What with cakes, and handkerchiefs 
and home-made candy, it's an expensive thing, 1 can tell 
you, and no one appreciates it, either. 

Mrs. p. That's right— and the time, too. I guess my 
time ought to be worth something, and we was here last 
iiioht— how late was we here last night, Emily? 

Miss S. Till a quarter to two. And we was scairt to 
death for fear some man'd run off with us. 

Mrs. p. If I'd 'a' known how it would be so quiet and 
silent like', I'd have made Hiram come over for me, late as 
'twas But as you say, folks don't appreciate it. They lay 
abed while we're a-slavin' here and getdng things ready for 
them to enjoy. I wouldn't be the chairman of the bazaar 
committee again, not for a hundred dollars. 

Mrs. F. That's what you've said every year, and you ve 
been chairman ten years. 

Mrs p. Well, this is positively the last time. A 
woman's got some duties to her husband and family, hasn't 

she ? 

Miss S. I'd like to be chairman next year, Mrs. Price. 
I haven't any husband to have any duties to. Perhaps 
you'll suggest my name. , ,„ ,. , • 

Mrs P Oh, I don't suppose they'll listen to having 
anybody else but me, and I'll have to take it. But I will be 
very rekictant. You ladies know just how 1 feel about it— 
very reluctant 1 



10 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

Mrs. F. Do you know what I heard to-day? Of course 
I don't really know, and it came to me second-hand, but 
the lady who told me said the lady who told her knew it 
was true — well, anyway — sh — we mustn't let the girls hear. 

{She whispers to Mrs. P. and Miss S.) 

Mrs. p. Well, for goodness' sake 1 

Miss S. I'm sorry you told me, Mrs. Featherstone. You 
ought to class me with the girls. 

Mrs. F. Now don't repeat a word of it. The lady who 
told me promised she wouldn't tell a soul, and 1 promised 
her the same thing. I hope I can trust you. 

Mrs. p. I won't breathe a word. 

Miss S. You may be sure 1 would never mention such a 
thing. 

Mrs. F. And of course, as I say, it might not be true, 
and I'm not saying it is. I'm only saying that was what 
was said, just as it came to me. 

Mrs. p. Well, I guess we're just about ready if the other 
girls' d come. {E?iter Ella Farnum, r.) Hello, Ella, 
glad you got here. Got your things ready ? 

Ella. Am 1 to set in here? {Indicates the tent.') 

Mrs. p. Yes, and for the land's sake, don't let anybody 
know who you are. Keep your face good and covered, and 
disguise your voice like. 

Ella {mimicking deep base voice). I'll try, ma'am. 

Mrs. F. I wish Elizabeth' d get here so we can be all 
ready. Somebody's apt to drop in any minute. 

Miss S. Here she is. 

{Enter Elizabeth, r.) 

Mrs. p. Now all you girls come out here (Irene, Jen- 
nie and JosiE join Elizabeth) and get your final instruc- 
tions. Be sure everything's spick and span, including your- 
selves, and be ready to get the men's money away from 
them. Don't be afraid of bein' persuasive, 'specially to 
young fellows. Just flatter 'em up like you wanted them to 
take you to the theatre. 

Irene. ^ 

Jennie. f" ^^^ "^^it, ma'am, we will. 

Elizabeth. J 

Mrs. p. Never mind sayin' all right. Do it. {The 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS II 

girls busy themselves in the booths. ) Well, I guess every- 
thing's done at last, and 1 must say that I've done well. 

Miss S. We've tried to be a help to you, Mrs. Price. 

Mrs. p. Oh, you have, you have; but after all, Pm the 
chairman, and the chairman has a great responsibility. It 
will be a great load off my mind. It's like having a mort- 
gage on the farm. 

Mrs. F. {loftily). Of course, we've never had a mortgage 
on our farm, so 1 don't know how it is. 

Mrs. p. Well, neither have we, Molly Featherstone, and 
don't you make any insinuations 



Mrs. F. Why, I'm sure I never 



Mrs. p. Yes, you did, too. Don't tell me. And I 
won't stand it. 

Mrs. F. Oh, well, a guilty conscience 

Mrs. p. Stop right where you are. 

Miss S. Really, you mustn't quarrel like this. Some 
one will hear you. 

Mrs. p. I don't care, and I sha'n't speak to her till she 
apologizes. 

Mrs. F. You'll wait a long time, Sister Price. 

(Mrs. p. disdains to reply. Enter Mr. Bidlow, l. The 
ladies all rush toward him.') 

Mrs. p. ^ Come right with me to the handkerchief booth. 
Mrs. F. V Come right with me to the candy booth. 
Miss S. ) Come right with me to the ice-cream booth. 

(Bidlow is torn frojn one of the ladies to another, but 
is finally captured by Mrs. P. and triumphantly escorted 
to the hafidker chief booth.) 

Mrs. p. Now, Mr. Bidlow, I want to show you the very 
handkerchief your wife picked out. She says to us, " Girls, 
if Mr. Bidlow does buy me a handkerchief, I hope he'll buy 
this one." PU leave it to Emily. 

Miss S. That's just what she said. 

Mrs. F. That was it exactly. 

(Mrs. p. ignores her completely.) 

Bidlow. Ahem, let me see that there handkercher. 
Mrs. p. Here it is. Isn't it a beauty? 
Bidlow. All linen, I suppose ? 



12 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

Mrs. p. Why, I should say it is all linen. 

BiDLOW {exatninifig carefully). Not a bad looking hand- 
kercher. Not s' big as I like, but all right fer women. How 
much are you askin' fer it to-day — a nickel ? 

Mrs. p. You forget yourself, Mr. Bidiow ; this is a 
church bazaar. Now, we ladies placed a very moderate 
price on these elegant all-linen handkerchiefs. This one we 
are offering for only one dollar. 

Miss S. 1 thought it was seventy 

Mrs. p. {glari?ig at her). Not this one, Emily. Please 
remember that I am chairman of this committee. 

(BiDLOW exai?ii7ies the handkerchief ve?y carefully.') 

BiDLOW. No, I can't see my way clear to give you 
more'n fifteen cents. 

Mrs. p. This is a church fair, not an auction, Mr. Bid- 
low. The price of the handkerchief is one dollar, but as 
you are the first here, and the first should get the best, Til 
let it go for seventy-five cents. 

BiDLOW. I might be induced to give a quarter. (^He 
takes a purse from his pocket and holds out two dunes and a 
nickel.) Cash, too, no trustin' nor anything. 

Mrs. p. Seventy-five cents is rock-bottom. 

BiDLOW (^putting rnofiey back into purse). If you change 
your mind 'n' want to let it go fer a quarter, let me know 
'n' I'll take it, if I've got any money left. 

Miss S. Oh, don't be so economical, Mr. Bidiow. Re- 
member it's for the new debatin' room. And really the 
handkerchief is easily worth seventy-five cents. I'm going 
to buy one myself. 

BiDLOW. A bargain's a bargain. I bid a quarter just to 
please my wife. Now, I want to know do 1 get it for my 
twenty-five cents ? 

Mrs. p. (emphatically). Well, I should say not. 

{Enter Clyde Hopper and Genevieve Rodman arm in 
a?m.) 

Clyde. Well, here we are. 

Genevieve. Yes, here we are. 

Mrs. p. So glad to see you both. How nice you look. 
(Clyde appears confused.) Now, come right over to the 
handkerchief booth. 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 1 3 

Clyde {to Genevieve). Do you want to? 

Genevieve. Oh, 1 don't care. 

BiDLOW {at the lemonade bootJi). How much did you 
say lemonade was ? 

JosiE. I don't know how much it was. It is ten cents 
per glass. 

BiDLOW. I can't see my way clear to givin' you more'n 
a nickel. 

JosiE. The price is ten cents. 

Mrs. p. {to Clyde). Excuse me, — Josie, let him have it 
for a nickel. We'll make a little even then. 

(BiDLOW is much pleased with himself about his bargaift 
and drinks the lemonade exultantly.^ 

BiDLOW. I see you r' member the injunction to b'ware of 
strong drink. 

Josie {contemptuously). I guess it's strong enougli for a 
nickel. 

Clyde {aside to Mrs. P.). I never took a girl out b'fore. 
What's a feller expected to do? 

Mrs. p. You want to make a good impression, don't 
you? 



Clyde. You bet I do. I 



Mrs. p. I do not bet. Please remember that. Well, 
to please a girl, you must buy everything you see. Give 
her the idea that you are liberal, and that you've got a lot 
of money. 

Clyde. But I've only got eighty cents. 

Mrs. p. You should have provided yourself before you 
came. 

Clyde. I thought eighty cents'd be plenty. 

Mrs. p. It might some places, but not at a church 
bazaar. Well, I guess the only thing you can do is to spend 
the eighty cents. {Enter Mrs. Turner, r.) I wondered 
if you wasn't coming, Mrs. Turner. My idea as chairman 
is to have everything start out punctual. Are you ready? 

Mrs. T. I don't see any rush here yet, Mrs. Price. 
Yes, I'm all ready. 

Mks. p. Well, get your apron on and get busy. 

Mrs. T. I'm nobody's hired girl, Mrs. Price, I'd have 
you know. 

Mrs. p. Please remember I am the chairman of the 
committee. 



14 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

(Mrs. T. turtis toward the wheel of fortune^ Mrs. F. joins 
her and whispers in her ear. Mrs. T. is greatly sur- 
prised.) 

Mrs. T. You don't say so ? 

Mrs, F. No. I don't say so. I am simply telling you 
what was told to me by some one else who got it from an- 
other party, and I hope you won't breathe a word of it. 

Mrs. T. Oh, you can rely upon me. 

Mrs. p. {to Clyde). I guess I won't take you to the 
handkerchief booth, after all. 

Clyde {loudly). Why not? 

Mrs. p. {aside). Sh. You mustn't spend all your 
money in one place. Go get your girl some lemonade. 

(Clyde and Genevieve turn to the lemonade booth, where 
Clyde orders two glasses. Bidlow has finished his 
leniofiade and is at the wheel of fortune.) 

{Enter several visitors, L. , who are welcomed effusively by 
Mrs. p. and the other ladies and who go from one booth 
to the other, buying lemonade, handkerchiefs, etc.) 

Bidlow. How much do you charge for a chance ? 

Mrs. T. Ten cents. 

Bidlow. 1 can't see my way clear to spending more'n a 
nickel. 

Mrs. T. Well, you won't get anything. 

Bidlow. I'll see you later. 

Mrs. T. Better take it now. You're sure to get some- 
thing. 

Bidlow. Ain't I always sure ? 

Mrs. T. Not on this wheel of fortune. It's like this. 
There are twenty prizes, and there are forty numbers on the 
wheel. Now you might turn to number eleven and get 
something worth a dollar, and then some other fellow might 
just happen to turn to number eleven and he wouldn't get a 
thing. 

Bidlow. I'll give you a nickel. 

Mrs. T. {firmly). Ten cents. 

Bidlow. Six cents. 

Mrs. T. Ten ! 

Bidlow. Seven. 

Mrs. T. Ten ! 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 1 5 

BiDLOW. rU give eight cents, and that's all. 

Mrs. p. Take his eight cents, Miranda. 

Mrs. T. I don't care. Ten cents is the price and 

BiDLOW. Eight cents cash. 

Mrs. p. Please remember, Mrs. Turner, I am chairman 
of the committee. Take his eight cents. 
Mrs. T. It's not fair. 

Mrs. p. Oh, no one will know. 

(BiDLOW tenders his eight cents, which Mrs. T. accepts 
reluctantly. Bidlow turns the wheel.') 

BiDLOW. Number i6. 

(Mrs. T. searches among the packages and hands one to 
BiDLOW. He opens it and reveals a pair of purple 
socks.) 

Mrs. T. Well, you got a bargain. They're selling 'em 
two pairs for a quarter down to Hornbucket's. 

Bidlow. My wife wouldn't let me wear 'em. I'll have 
to get some black dye, now — more expense. 

{^He turns toiuard the ice-cream booth.) 

(^Enter Mr. Cal Shupp, l.) 

Miss S ' I ^^^^^' ^''^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^' ^^* ^^^"PP'' 

Shupp. Pretty much as I please, being a single man. 

Miss S. {coyly). Oh, but it would be so much nicer to 
have a sweet little wife to come home to. 

Shupp. Oh, puff ! 

Miss S. Well, it would, a nice little girl that's all your 
own. 

Shupp. Pretty ? 

Miss S. Why, certainly, if mere physical 

Shupp. Clever ? 

Miss S. Oh, yes, clever, to be sure. 

Shupp. Pretty and clever. They don't have 'em in 
Mulberry. 

Miss S. You are very ungallant ; but I tell you if you 
want to see pretty and clever girls you want to go down to 
{name place in which enter tainjnent is given). They're as 
thick as peas down there. 



l6 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

Shupp. It's a good place to stay away from, then. 

Mrs. p. It is ? 

Shupp. Yep ; a bachelor's apt to get m trouble where 
there's pretty girls. 

Mrs. p. They'd have to be pretty to get you. 

Shupp. I should say so. I've had my fill of 'em. I 
know 'em like a book. They're deceitful creatures. I was 
as good as engaged once, but my girl thought she could fool 
me. She went to a dance over at Ash Center with another 
fellow. Gracious, a dozen folks came to me and told me all 
about it. Mighty narrow 'scape for me. 

Mrs. p. Well, we expect bachelors to spend more than 
married folks here at the bazaar. 

Miss S. Come over and have your fortune told. 

Shupp. Every time I do I'm told I'm going to marry a 
short, dark-haired woman. 

{The description should be worded to fit Miss S., who acts 
flurried but pleased.^ 

Miss S. Oh, do come and get your fortune told. 

Shupp {pausi?ig by the wheel of fortune^. Weil, vi^hat's 
this ? 

Mrs. T. Ten cents a chance, ten cents a chance. 
(Shupp tur7is tJie wheel a fid is given his package. He 
unwraps it and produces a pair of baby's stockings. He 
tJirusts them hastily into his pocket amid a roar of derision.') 
I believe that everything like that has a portent, Mr. Shupp. 
I don't think there is any such thing as chance, do you ? 
You are going to get married. 

Shupp. Not if I see 'em first. 

Miss S. Oh, fie, Mr. Shupp. 

{TJiey enter the fortune-teller'* s booth.') 

Mrs. p. {at the fancy-work booth). Just see this, ladies 
and gentlemen. This elegant hand-painted china cup and 
saucer for only two dollars and a quarter. Just think of it. 
Now we have only two sets, so if you want one, you must 
decide quickly. 

{Other visitors enter at L. and r. and go to the various 
booths. At this point the majority are listening to Mrs. P. 
She continues to show the china.) 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS I7 

BiDLOW (iiit the ice-cream booth). How much is ice- 
cream ? 

Jennie. Ten cents a dish. 

BiDLOW. I can't see my way clear to pay more'n five. 

Jennie. I can't help it. It's ten cents. 

Mrs. p. {turning from her china). What's the matter, 
Jennie? {She comes over to ice-cream booth.) 

Jennie. Mr. Bidlow wants ice-cream for five cents. 

Mus. P. {aside to Jennie). Let him have it and only 
give him half as much. 

(Jennie gives Bidlow a dish, and he is greatly pleased at 

his bargain. Clyde leaves Genevieve, with whom he 

has been walking around arm in arm, a?id speaks to 

Mrs. F.) 

Clyde. This is the first time I ever took a girl out. 
What had I ought to do ? 

Mrs. F. Why, buy her some ice-cream. 

Clyde. I did. 

Mrs. F. Then buy her some lemonade. 

Clyde. I did. 

Mrs. F. Buy her some more ice-cream. 

Clyde. J did. 

Mrs. F. Better buy her some more lemonade. 

Clyde. And then what ? 

Mrs. F. Then come to me, and I'll tell you what to do. 

Clyde. But had 1 ought to call her dear ? 

Mrs. F. Why, I don't suppose she would object. 

Clyde. No, I guess she wouldn't object, but had I 
ought to ? 

Mrs. F. {laughing). I'll leave that to your conscience. 
You'd better talk it over with Mr. Shu pp. 

Clyde {seriously). All right, I will. 

Mrs. p. {talking to the crowd). Well, I'm ashamed of 
you all when you won't buy that elegant cup and saucer for 
only two dollars and a quarter. Now, I hope you won't 
hesitate when I offer this magnificent pillow, made by one 
of the prettiest girls in town. We are offering it at a ridicu- 
lous price, four dollars. 

Mrs. T. Oh, Mrs. Price, Mr. Brownell is coming. 

Mrs. p. {excitedly). He is? Where? Now he will 
spend a lot of money, girls. Just to make a good showing, 
Josie, give him a glass of lemonade. 



l8 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

Mrs. T. Isn't that rather extravagant? 
Mrs. p. That is for me to decide. Please remember 
that 1 am the chairman. I know how to handle these men. 

(^E?iter Mr. Brownell, l. Mrs. P., Josie and a nimiber 
of the visitors rush up to him. Josie offers him a glass 
of lemonade.') 

Brownell. Ah, a dehghtful occasion and so many- 
charming ladies ! Really these church bazaars are won- 
derful contrivances. 1 hope you make a lot of money. (^He 
drinks from the glass Josie has forced tipo7i him.) Ah, 
water I The delightful element ! Nature's remedy for 
man's thirst. 

All {indignantly). Why, Mr. Brownell, that's lemonade ! 

Brownell. Ah, a slight mistake. How much is it? 

{He feels ifi his pocket. ) 

Mrs. p. Oh, this is a little complimentary token of our 
esteem, Mr. Brownell. 

Brownell {still feeling in his pocket). Funny thing ! 
That's a trick 1 haven't done since one time 1 took a young 
lady to dinner at Delmonico's in New York thirty years ago 
the first day of September. {He contimies to look diligently.) 

Mrs. p. {plainly worried). Why, what's tlie matter? 

Brownell. I changed my clothes, and d'you know 1 
must have left my pocketbook in my other suit. 

{Groans are heard at the sad neivs.) 

Mrs. p. Did you leave it at home, Mr. Brownell ? 

Brownell. I guess I must have. 

Mrs. p. Well, if I was you, I'd go straight home and 
get it. It's not* safe to leave a lot of money in the house. 
Why, the way burglars are acting 

Brownell. Burglars never struck Mulberry. 

Mrs. p. No, but there's always a first time. I wouldn't 
think of leaving money all unprotected like. Why, Miss 
Simpkins was saying a suspicious-looking fellow was up by 
her place less'n a week ago. 

Brownell. Well, it was only $ii.86 — not worth both- 
ering about. 

Mrs. p. {suddenly suspicious). Are you sure you looked 
real good ? 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 1 9 

(^She lays her ha?id 07i the outside of his pockets.) 

Brownell. Oh, it's not there. I looked good. But 
I'll risk leaving it home one night. 

Mrs. p. {aside to Josie). And to think we gave him a 
glass of lemonade. {Enter Mrs. Jones, l. Clyde has 
taken Genevieve over to buy her some more lemonade.') 
Why, how are you, Mrs. Jones ? So glad to see you. 
{Lowers tone.) I've just had the greatest disappointment. 
Mr. Brownell left his pocketbook home, accidental, he says, 
and it had ^11.86 in it. Just think of it ! Eleven dollars 
and eighty-six cents, and I know I could have got every cent 
of it, too. There's that cup and saucer, ^2.25; I'd have 
made him take that and 

Mrs. J. Won't he go home and get it? 

Mrs. p. We can't get him to budge. He's that 
obstinate. 

Mrs. J. Well, then, can't we get somebody to break 
into his house and get it? It wouldn't be stealing, because 
the money really belongs to us. 

Mrs. p. Good land, none of our boys have enough 
gumption to do any burglarizing. Besides, he's got a dog 
that's got a nasty temper. I'll be glad when the whole 
thing's done and over. I wouldn't be chairman again for a 
hundred dollars. Well, I must see what the girls are doing. 

{She flies excitedly arozmd the booths. ) 

Mrs. F. {coming over to Mrs. J.). Oh, Mrs, Jones, 
I'm so glad to see you. Things aren't at all pleasant here. 
Mrs. Price is very angry. By the way, have you heard 

{She looks cautiously around and whispers into Mrs. J.'s 

ear.) 

Mrs. J. Well, I never 

Mrs. F. I wouldn't believe it. I just couldn't and I 
wouldn't for the world have it get around, for as I say I'm 
not positive about it, but it came to me just as I told you. 
I thought you ought to know, but you must promise not to 
say a word. 

Mrs. J. You can rely upon me; but I must say I am 
surprised. 

Mrs. F. We don't really know what is going on, 
do we? 

Mrs. J. I guess if we don't nobody does. 



20 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

Mrs. F. But even we are shocked sometimes. 

Mrs. J. Yes, indeed. I never will forget how I was 
affected when I heard about Mrs. Peterson. I fell in a 
swoon. They had to carry me into the house. 

(They go toward the candy stand. Shupp arid Miss S. come 
out of the fortune-teller'' s tefit.^ 

Miss S. Oh, fie, Mr. Shupp, you're going to get married 
before another church bazaar rolls around, and to a short, 
dark-haired woman. 

{Make the description fit Miss S.) 

Shupp. That fortune-teller has got another guess coming. 
I ain't a-goin' to get married at all — leastways not unless 
I'm forced to — and if 1 did get married, I'd marry a tall, 
thin blonde. 

Miss S. Just how d' you mean, unless you was forced to ? 

Shupp. Well, if they was to hold a gun to my head and 
say '' Marry her or we'll shoot," I might consider it a mo- 
ment, though I'm not sure which I'd do. 

Miss S. {coyly). There's other ways of being compelled 
besides revolvers, Mr. Shupp. 

Shupp. Yes, they might get a sword or a big club. 

Miss S. I was thinking of being compelled by the cords 
of love. 

Shupp. Oh, fiddle. 

Miss S. If your heart ever got touched you wouldn't 
say fiddle. 

Shupp. I'd rather have my heart touched than my 
pocketbook. 

Miss S. I expect to live to go to your wedding, Cal 
Shupp, with all your big talk. 

(Clyde leaves Genevieve, who is still drinkijig lemonade, 
and makes his way to Shupp.) 

Clyde. Oh, Mr. Shupp, I want to ask you something. 

Shupp. Ask Miss Simpkins here. 

Clyde. No, 1 was told to ask you. {He draws Shupp 
a step away.) I want to know if it's right for me to call 
Genevieve dear. I'm taking her out for the first time, and 
I'm not sure what's expected. 

Shupp. Oh, it's expected, all right. 

{He roars heartily.') 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 21 

Clyde. Thank you so much, Mr. Shupp. I'm 'glad to 
know what to do. You're quite sure she expects it? 

Shupp. Oh, she expects it all right, but if you value 
your happiness, don't you do it. 

Clyde {concerned). Why not — if she expects it? 

Shupp. Young man, did you ever hear of a breach-of- 
promise suit ? 

Clyde. Yes — yes, sir. 

Shupp. Well, they ain't very pleasant, I can tell you, 
and calling a girl *' dear" is the first step to getting mixed 
up in one. If 1 was you — or for that matter, if 1 was my- 
self — I'd keep just as far from the women as possible. 
You've got to take her home, can't very well avoid it, but 
keep away from 'em in future. Some time I'll tell you my 
experience with 'em, and then you can judge according. 

Clyde. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. 

Miss S. {coming tip). Don't believe a word he says, 
Clyde. The fortune-teller just said he was going to marry 
a short, dark-haired woman. {Appears confused.) 

Shupp. Not if I happen to see her first. 

Mrs. F. Right this way for home-made candy, only 
sixty cents a pound. 

BiDLOW. I can't give more'n thirty-five cents. 

Genevieve {to Clyde). What'U we do now? 

Clyde. Oh, I don't care. 

Genevieve. What do you say to having a little more 
ice-cream ? 

Clyde {embarrassed). Why, I guess so, certainly. 
Wait just a moment. Excuse me. {He hurries from her 
side.) Oh, Mr. Shupp, lend me ten cents, will you? 

Shupp. Broke, are you ? Serves you right for getting 
mixed up with women. Yes, I'll lend you the money, but 
you got to sign this paper, I O U ten cents. 

Clyde {eagerly). Yes, sir, yes, sir. 

Shupp. Furthermore, if not paid back in one week, 
you'll have to pay me a nickel interest. 

Clyde {impatiently). Yes, sir, yes, sir. 

Shupp. There you are, then. 

(Clyde takes money and rejoins G'e.^K\n^YE, and they turn 
to the ice-cream booth.) 

Clyde. What kind you going to have? 
Genevieve. Vanilly, seeing that's all they've got. 



22 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

Clyde. I don't care for any myself. 
Genevieve. Oh, do have some. 
Clyde. I don't care for any just now. 
Genevieve. Well, let's wait and we'll both have some. 
Clyde. I guess I've had enough for to-night. 
Genevieve. It'll spoil it for me, if you don't have some. 
Clyde. I have a particular reason for not wishing to eat 
any more ice-cream to-night. 

Genevieve. What is the reason ? 

Clyde. Oh, I can't tell you. 

Genevieve. Oh, please tell me. 

Clyde. Oh, 1 can't. 

Genevieve. Oh, come on. 

Clyde. I can't. It wouldn't be proper. 

Genevieve. Oh ! 

(Clyde orders the ice-cream for Genevieve.) 

Mrs. p. (to Miss S.). Things aren't selling as well as I 
wish they might. I never saw such a stingy lot of men in 
all my days. 

Miss S. They are very near, without doubt. 

Mrs. p. I should say they was near. And such values 
as we're offering, too ! Why, it's a shame to sell aprons like 
those for seventy-five cents. It's discouraging after the way 
we've slaved. 

Miss S. Just as you said, they don't appreciate it. 

Mrs. p. I only hope we make expenses. 

Miss S. How much ice-cream are we going to have 
left? 

Mrs. p. One thing's certain — we wouldn't make a cent 
if folks didn't donate a lot of stuff. 

Miss S. For me, I'd just as soon donate the money right 
out. 

Mrs. p. But then we wouldn't have any bazaar committee 
or anything. 

(Genevieve appears visibly distressed.') 

Genevieve. Oh, Clyde, I don't feel very well. 

Clyde (concer?ied and embarrassed'). Why, what's the 
matter ? 

Genevieve. I don't know. (She appears quite ill.) 
Perhaps we'd better go home. 

Mrs. p. {coining up). Why, what's the matter ? 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 23 

Clyde. She's very, very ill. 

{Ladies come riitming up.) 
Genevieve. Perhaps it was the lemonade and the ice- 

crec\ni- 

Mrs. p. No, you're all right, child. Fm no Christian 
Scientist, but I know that lemonade never hurt you. 
{Aside to one of the ladies.) Not when three lemons made 
forty glasses. 

Clyde. Maybe Fd better take you home. 
Mks. p. Nonsense, we're going to have some music. 
She'll be all right in a minute. You just stay till it's over. 
Genevieve. I think I feel a little better. 
Mrs. p. Of course you do. 
Clyde. Had we ought to call a doctor ? 
Miss S. Let her rest, and she'll be all right. 
(Mrs. p. rushes over to Brownell.) 
Mrs P Oh, Mr. Brownell, here's a lovely pillow I want 
you to' buy. It's hand-made, and FU let it go for four dol- 
lars and FU trust you for the money. 

Brownell. But suppose I shouldn't pay? 
Mrs. p. Oh, we'll risk that. 

Brownell. When I was a boy, I promised my mother 
I'd never go in debt for a cent. It was almost her last 
words : *^ My boy, pay as you go. Owe no man anything. 
Promise me faithful." And 1 promised her. You wouldn t 
want me to break a promise to my mother ? 
Mrs p. Just what was it you said she said ? 
Brownell. '* My boy, pay as you go. Owe no man 
anything. Promise me faithful." 

Mrs. p. But you aren't owing any man anything. 
You're owing me. 

Brownell. I guess you're right, Sister Price, and it s 
up to me. Give me the pillow. 

(Mrs. p. brings ii to him triuinphantly.) 
Brownell. You certainly are O. K. to run a church 

Mrs p. I've had vears of experience. 
Miss S. {to Shupp). It's perfectly horrid the way you 
talk, Cal Shupp. 

Shupp. Say what you mean's my motto. 



24 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

Miss S. Don't you know love is the greatest thing in the 
world ? 

Shupp {brusquely). What about it ? 

Miss S. Love leads to matrimony. 

Shupp. Were you ever in love ? 

Miss S. Why — er — that is a very embarrassing question. 

Shupp. Well, if you was, it hasn't led to matrimony. 

Miss S. {sharply). Wait till my book o' life's finished, 
Cal Shupp. This isn't the last chapter. 

Mrs. p. {officiously'). Everybody, attention. We are 
going to have a little program, some singing, elocution, and 
some funny talk of some sort. Admission is ten cents 
apiece. Come right up and pay your share. 

Clyde {to Genevieve). Don't you really think you 
ought to go home ? 

Genevieve. Oh, no, I feel better now. If I had to, I 
could eat another dish of ice-cream. 

(Clyde skirmishes around a?id finally succeeds itt horroiv- 
ing the vioney from Miss S.) 

Miss S. {to Shupp). Poor boy, I believe in encouraging 
anybody in love. 

Shupp. I don't ! 

Clyde {aside to Shupp). You told me to keep away 
from the girls, and you've been going around with Miss 
Simpkins all evening. 

Shupp. You don't suppose it's my doings, do you ? 
You can't side-step her. 

Clyde. I bet you take her home. 

Shupp. Well, 1 guess not. 

Clyde. All right. We'll see. 

Brownell {to Mrs. P.). I guess you'll have to make 
that $4.10, Mrs. Price, that I owe you. 

Mrs. p. We'll make it ^11.86 if you say so. 

Brownell. No, I guess ^4.10 is sufficient. 

{All the others pay Mrs. P. except Bidlow.) 

Mrs. p. Come, Mr. Bidlow, pay up like the rest. 

Bidlow. I'm in now. I don't exactly approve of some 
of these goings-on you're going to have, but I guess I can 
take 'em in without paying anything extry. 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 25 

Mrs. p. The admission is ten cents. You can pay or 
leave. 

BiDLOW. I'll give a nickel. 

Mrs. p. Ten cents is the price. 

BiDLOw. I'll just stay in and not pay anything. 

Mrs. p. {fir/nly). You must pay or leave. 

BiDLOW. Neither alternative is attractive, Mrs. Price. 

Mrs. p. (^firmly). I've stood enough of your nonsense. 
You bought a glass of lemonade for five cents, a dish of ice- 
cream for five cents, and a chance on the wheel of fortune 
for eight cents. I guess it's not going to hurt you to pay ten 
cents to hear a good program. 

BiDLOW. That's exactly where I object. I've got to pay 
ten cents whether the program's good or not. 

Mrs. p. Ten cents won't bankrupt you. 

BiDLOW. It's not the money. It's the principle. I be- 
lieve in always getting my money's worth. 

Mrs. p. {exasperated). Will you pay the ten cents? 

BiDLOW. I will not. 

Mrs. p. Come on, girls, we'll have to 

Miss S. Not use violence, I hope. Remember, this is a 
church affair. 

Mrs. p. Please bear in mind I am the chairman of the 
committee, and I am responsible. Come on, girls, we are 
obliged to eject him. (The girls in charge of the various 
booths, also Mrs. T. a?id Mrs. F., come forward. Mrs. P. 
to Mrs. F.) We'll not require your assistance. 

Mrs. F. {triumpha7itly). I thought you weren't going 
to speak to me till I apologized ! 

{The other ladies attack 'Buyi^ow ofi all sides and ettdeavor 
to force him to the door. He sets himself firmly and re- 
fuses to he moved.) 

Mrs. p. {tuggijig away). Talk about being sot, Bidlow, 
you're more sot than any woman I know. 
Elizabeth. He is obstinate. 
BiDLOw. I won't even give five cents now. 

( The girls tug in vain and finally give it up, breathless. 
BiDLOW takes a chair in triiimph.) 

Mrs. p. (excitedly). Oh, there's Tommy in the ice- 
cream. 



26 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

Brownell. Pardon me. I think the ice-cream's in 
Tommy. 

(^Coufusioti 071 all sides incidetit to separati?ig Tommy from 
the ice-cream freezer. He is finally dragged away, liber- 
ally spattered.) 

{Etiter Mr. «;/// Mrs. Lomley.) 

LoMLEY. Awful sorry to be here so late, but we couldn't 
get here a minute earlier. 

Mrs. p. Well, we're awful glad to see you. 

Mrs. J. {to Mrs. F.). Why, I thought you told me they 
was a-goin' to be divorced. 

Mrs. F. No, 1 didn't any such thing. I only said that 
that was what I heard, as I got it from someone who'd been 
told by another party. 

Mrs. p. (clappifig hands for attentioti). If some folks 
are so mean they won't pay for the elegant show we're going 
to have, we'll have it just the same. It's not right that 
everybody should suffer just on account of one man. Now, 
we are going to have Elizabeth sing for us. (Elizabeth 
should sing some catchy, up-to-date selection. Great ap- 
plause at the conclusion. Bidlow applauds as loudly as the 
rest.) There, Bidlow, ain't you ashamed to set there and 
listen to that elegant music without paying for it ? 

Bidlow. Not to-night, I'm not. I'm all the better 
pleased with my bargain. 

Mrs. p. If I was as sot as some people, I wouldn't come 
to church bazaars. The next number on our program is to 
be a dialogue by two young men who are visiting in town 
and have very kindly consented to donate their services 

Bidlow. Then why had I ought to pay ? 

Mrs. p. {glower i?ig at him). Let me introduce Mr. 
Smith and Mr. Jenkins. 

{Enter Mr. Smith, as a negro, and Mr. Jenkins, as an 
Irishman.) 

Smith. Say, boss, isn't you gwine to give me a job? 

Jenkins. A job, b'gorry, 'n* phwat for should I be 
givin' you a job ? 

Smith. Why, b'cause, boss, I'se related to you. 

Jenkins {angrily). You related to me, you great 
big ■ 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 27 

Smith. No dis'spect, sir, to neither of us. 

Jenkins {threatening). No disrespect, you great big 

Smith. R' member, boss, I'se got feelin's, 1 has. 

Jenkins, Yis, an' b'gorry, yez'll be a-feelin' wid *em in 
a minuet. Oi'll hit yez till ye're white in the face. 

Smith. Dat'd be a case o' discoloration, hey, boss? 

Jenkins. Phwat's that got to do wid it ? 

Smith. Nuffin. 

Jenkins. See here, phvvat are yez doing, makin' a 
monkey out o* me ? 

Smith. No, sah, dat ain't nec'sary. 

Jenkins {belligereiit). None o' your insults, you great 
big 

Smith. No dis'spect, boss. Say, is you gvvine to gimme 
a job? 

Jenkins. Oi is not. And phwat did yez mane sayin' yez 
was a relative to me ? 

Smith. It's very distant, boss, very distant. 

Jenkins {angrily). Oi'il knock ev'ry tooth out o' your 
black head in a minuet. 

Smith. No dis'spect, boss, but what was de name o' de 
lady you got married at? 

Jenkins. Yez manes married to. 

Smith. Jes' as you say, boss. 

Jenkins. Oi married a very high-tone loidy, Oi did. 

Smith. Jes' prezackly, boss, 'n' what's her name? 

Jenkins. Why, her name was Kuhn. 

Smith. Jes' as I say, boss, den you's related to all de 
coons. 

Jenkins. Get out o' here, you big 

Smith. Don't say nuffin you'll be sorry for, boss. 

Jenkins. Get out o' here, you big good-for-nothin*. 

Smith. I ain't good for nothin'. 

Jenkins. Phwat are yez good fer? 

Smith. I can sing. 

Jenkins. Oi can sing better nor you. 

Smith. No dis'spect, boss, but I'se de better singer. I 
sure is. 

Jenkins. We'll thry it an' see. Tune up wid ye. 
(Smith sings " Where the River Shatmofi Flows ^'' '' Nor ay 
Nora McNamara,'" or some other good Irish piece in Negro 
dialect. Applause.) Oh, b'gorry, I can bate that all to 
nothin'. Watch me. (^He sings ''Old Black Joe'' in 



28 THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 

typical Irish dialect. Hearty applause.^ B'gony, you *n' 
me'd better go onto the vodyviile stage. 

Smith. I'se willin', boss; lead me to it. 

Jenkins. They'll pay us a hundred a wake, an' Oi'll 
give yez foive. 

Smith. T'anks to you, boss, for gettin' me a job. 

(^Exeunt y L. Applause.') 

Mrs, p. They are two of the funniest men I ever saw in 
my life. They tell me they appear in the best theayters 
in New York and Boston. 

Mrs. F. In theaters, Mrs. Price ? 

(Mrs. p. ignores her.) 

Mrs. p. Mebbe Lizzie — I mean Elizabeth'd be willing 
to sing another song for us. {Applause a?id Elizabeth 
obliges. She slugs some clever catchy piece and is ap- 
plauded.) We're going to have our annual auction now. 
We're going to auction off the church-bazaar cake. Now, 
everybody get ready. And you don't know what's inside 
that cake either. ( Abner produces a mammoth cake and 
mounting a chair ^ Mrs. P. begins the auction.) How much 
for the cake ? How much for the cake ? 

BiDLOw. What kind of a cake is it ? 

Mrs. p. It's every kind of a cake. It's the church- 
bazaar cake. 

BiDLOw. It looks to me like a lemon cake. 

Abner. It looks to me like a sponge cake. 

Clyde. I'll bet it's a pound cake. 

LoMLEY. Or a vanilly cake. 

Shupp. I say it's an orange cake. 

Brownell. It looks to me like a stomach-ache. 

Mrs. p. {impatiently). How much for the cake? 

BiDLOW. I'll go you ten cents. 

Shupp. I'll bid eleven. 

Clyde. If you'll trust me, I'll give twelve cents. 

Mrs. p. I'm ashamed of you. This cake is worth five 
dollars. Come on, bid up. 

Brownell. I'll bid a quarter if you'll add it to my bill. 

Shupp. I guess I can go about thirty cents. 

Bidlow. Is there real eggs used in that cake? 

Mrs. p. Why certainly, there's real eggs. 

Bidlow. How many? 



THE CHURCH BAZAAR AT MULBERRY CORNERS 29 

Mrs. p. Why, about four, I guess. 

BiDLOW. And eggs are forty-eight cents a dozen. That's 
sixteen cents. Allow four cents for flour, three cents for 
butter, two cents for sugar, two cents for flavoring, and two 
cents for labor, that's twenty-nine cents 'n* that's all it's 
worth. 

Mrs. p. {impatiently). Thirty cents is bid. 

BiDLOW. I'll go thirty-one cents. 

Clyde. Genevieve wants that cake. I'll bid thirty-five 
cents if you'll trust me for it. 

LoMLEY. I'll bid forty cents. 

Shupp. I'll bid forty-five. 

BiDLOW. If you're going to talk like that I'm goin' to 
quit biddin'. 

Shupp. Do I get it for forty-five ? 

Mrs. p. Come on, folks, bid up. How much is 
offered '^ 

LoMLEY. I guess I've got fifty cents. 

Mrs. p. Do you bid it ? 

LoMLEY. I guess so. 

Shupp. I bid fifty- five. 

Mrs. p. Going — gone to Mr. Shupp for fifty-five cents. 
Now, Cal, with this cake you get a special prize. Take 
one of these slips. {Holds out a handful of slips of paper.) 
What did you get ? 

Shupp {readifio^ /lis slip). Em'ly Simpkins. 

Mrs. p. Well, you can kiss her. All us ladies agreed 
we'd do it, no matter who was chosen, 'n' no matter what 
our husbands think. 

Shupp. I got to get out o' here. 

(Ife vainly tries to escape, but is held captive by 7iumerous 
willing arms, in the midst of the titmost confusion and 
hilarity. Miss S. is far from reluctant. Finally the two 
are brought together, and the '' sjnack " occurs just as the 
curtain descends.) 

Clyde {at the same time). Me too, dear. What do I 
care for breach o' promise ? 



curtain 



Unusually Good Entertainments 

Read One or More of These Before Deciding on 
Your Next Program 

GRADUATION DAY AT W^OOD HILL SCHOOL. 

An Entertainment in Two Acts, by Ward Macauley. For six 
males and four females, with several minor parts. Time of 
playing, two hours. Modern costumes. Simple interior scenes; 
may be presented in a hall without scenery. The unusual com- 
bination of a real "entertainment," including music, recitations, 
etc., with an interesting love story. The graduation exercises 
include short speeches, recitations, songs, funny interruptions, 
and a comical speech by a country school trustee. Price, 15 
cents. 

EXAMINATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOL. 

An Entertainment in One Act, by Ward Macauley. Eight male 
and six female characters, with minor parts. Plays one hour. 
Scene, an easy interior, or may be given without scenery. Cos- 
tumes, modern. Miss Marks, the teacher, refuses to marry a 
trustee, who threatens to discharge her. The examination in- 
cludes recitations and songs, and brings out many funny answers 
to questions. At the close Robert Coleman, an old lover, claims 
the teacher. Very easy and very effective. Price^ 15 cents. 

BACK TO THE COUNTRY STORE. A Rural Enter- 
tainment in Three Acts, by Ward Macauley. For four male 
and five female characters, with some supers. Time, two hours. 
Two scenes, both easy interiors. Can be played effectively with- 
out scenery. Costumes, modern. All the principal parts are 
sure hits. Quigley Higginbotham, known as "Quig," a clerk in 
a country store, aspires to be a great author or singer _ aiid 
decides to try his fortunes in New York, The last scene is in 
Quig's home. He returns a failure but is offered a partnership 
in the country store. He pops the question in the midst of a 
surprise party given in his honor. Easy to do and very funny. 
Price, 15 cents. 

THE DISTRICT CONVENTION. A Farcical Sketch 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For eleven males and one 
female, or twelve males. Any number of other parts or super- 
numeraries may be added. Plays forty-five minutes. No special 
scenery is required, and the costumes and properties^ are all 
easy. The play shows an uproarious political noTninating con- 
vention. The climax comes when a woman's rights cham- 
pion, captures the convention. There is a great chance to bur- 
lesque modern politics and to work in local gags. Every 
part will make a hit. Price, 15 cents. 

SI SLOCUM-S COUNTRY STORE. An Entertainment 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eleven male and five female 
characters with supernumeraries. Several parts may be doubled. 
Plays one hour. Interior scene, or may be played without set 
scenery. Costumes, modern. The rehearsal for an entertain- 
ment in the village church gives plenty of opportunity for 
specialty work. A very jolly entertainment of the sort adapted 
to almost any place or occasion. Price, 15 cents. 



Successful Plays for All Girls 

In Selecting Your Next Play Do Not Overlook This List 

YOUNG DOCTOR DEVINE. A Farce in Two Acts, 
by Mrs. E. J. H. Goodfellow. One of the most popular 
plays for girls. For nine female characters. Time in 
playing, thirty minutes. Scenery, ordinary interior. Mod- 
ern costumes. Girls in a boarding-school, learning that a 
young doctor is coming to vaccinate all the pupils, eagerly con- 
sult each other as to the manner of fascinating the physician. 
When the doctor appears upon the scene the pupils discover that 
the physician is a female practitioner. Price, 15 cents. 

SISTER MASONS. A Burlesque in One Act, by Frank 
DuMONT. For eleven females. Time, thirty minutes. Costumes, 
fantastic gowns, or dominoes. Scene, interior. A grand expose 
of Masonry. Some women profess to learn the secrets of a 
Masonic lodge by hearing their husbands talk In their sleep, 
and they institute a similar organization. Price, 15 cents. 

A COMMANDING POSITION. A Farcical Enter- 
tainment, by Amelia Sanford. For seven female char- 
acters and ten or more other ladies and children. Time, one 
hour. Costumes, modern. Scenes, easy interiors and one street 
scene. Marian Young gets tired living with her aunt, Miss 
Skinflint. She decides to "attain a commanding position." 
Marian tries hospital nursing, college settlement work and 
school teaching, but decides to go back to housework. Price, 15 
cents. 

HOW A WOMAN KEEPS A SECRET. A Comedy 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For ten female characters. 
Time, half an hour. Scene, an easy interior. Costumes, modern. 
Mabel Sweetly has just become engaged to Harold, but it's ''the 
deepest kind of a secret." Before announcing it they must win 
the approval of Harold's uncle, now in Europe, or lose a possible 
ten thousand a year. At a tea Mabel meets her dearest friend. 
Maude sees Mabel has a secret, she coaxes and Mabel tells her. 
But Maude lets out the secret in a few minutes to another 
friend and so the secret travels. Price, 15 cents. 

THE OXFORD AFFAIR. A Comedy in Three Acts, 
by Josephine H. Cobb and Jennie E. Paine. For eight female 
characters. Plays one hour and three-quarters. Scenes, inter- 
iors at a seaside hotel. Costumes, modern. The action of the 
play is located at a summer resort. Alice Graham, in order to 
chaperon herself, poses as a widow, and Miss Oxford first claims 
her as a sister-in-law, then denounces her. The onerous duties 
of Miss Oxford, who attempts to serve as chaperon to Miss 
Howe and Miss Ashton in the face of many obstacles, furnish 
an evening of rare enjoyment. Price 15 cents. 




Practical Elocution 

By J W. Shoemaker, A. W^= 

^oo pages. 

Qoth, Leather Back. $1.25 

This work is the outgrowth oi 
actual class-room experience, and 
is a practical, common-sense treat 
ment of the whole subject. It is 
clear and concise, yet comprehen 
sive, and is absolutely free from 
the entangling technicalities that are so frequently 
found in books of this class. 

Conversation, which is the basis of all true Elocu 
tion, is regarded as embracing all the germs oS 
speech and action. Prominent attention is therefore 
given to the cultivation of this the most commor 
form of human expression. 

Genera! principles and practical processes are pre 
sented for the cultivation of strength, purity, and 
flexibility of Voice, for the improvement of distinct 
oess and correctness in Articulation, and for tht 
development of Soul power in delivery. 

The work includes a systematic treatment of Ges 
ture in its several departments of position, facia! 
expression, and bodily movement, a brief system ol 
Gymnastics bearing upon vocal development and 
grace of movement, and also a chapter on Methods 
of Instruction, for teachers. 

Sold by all booksellerSv or «ent, prepaid, uipoo I'l^- 
§eipt of price. 

The Penn Publishing Company 

226 S. nth Street, Philadelphia 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




ssion 



014 211 949 3 • 



IClVllV, 



■3 S^ 



The Po\ 

Expression and efti 

The power of clear and forceful expression brings confi- 
dence and poise at all times — in private gatherings, in public 
discussion, in society, in business. 

It is an invaluable asset to any man or woman. It can often 
be turned into money, but it is always a real joy. 

In learning to express thought, we learn to command 
thought itself, and thought is power. You can have this 
power if you will. 

Whoever has the power of clear expression is always sure 
of himself. 

The power of expression leads to: 

The ability to think "on your feet" 
Successful public speaking 
Effective recitals 
The mastery over other minds 
Social prominence 
Business success 
Efficiency in any undertaking 
Are these things worth while? 

They are all successfully taught at The National School of 
Elocution and Oratory, which during many years has de- 
veloped this power in hundreds of men and women. 

A catalogue giving full information as to how any of these 
accomplishments may be attained will be sent free on request. 

THE NATIONAL SCHOOL OF 
ELOCUTION AND ORATORY 

Parkway Building Philadelphia 



LIBRPRY OF CONGRESS 



